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The Civil War Soldier

Today's client was a man in his early 60's, a heavy smoker who suffered from breathing difficulties and much loss of loved ones. Considering all he has gone through, he seemed very detached from his emotions.

The first life we visited found the client was hiding in the woods from a battle. He was in his 20's, brown hair, scruffy shoes, tattered clothing. He was simply tired of the fighting and the needless violence. He saw grey uniforms and blue uniforms, canons and rifles. Smoke, lots of smoke. He had already fought for years and simply walked away from the battle and hid in the woods until it was over. Civil War. I asked him to check his pockets for any kind of personal items, but they were empty. We moved forward to the next important day. I immediately connected the emphasis on the smoke caused by the warfare with the smoking he does now- we can so often be drawn to re-create the very thing we need to heal.

In the next scene the war is over and client has returned to his small, impoverished farm. His wife has died of an illness and his two children have moved on, never to be seen again. The bare furnishings of the house are shabby and unloved. Three chairs sit at the kitchen table, but he lives alone. We went into town for provisions, but it brought the client no joy.

"Everyone is sad," he said. "I feel so sorry for the mothers and fathers, wives and husbands, brothers and sisters: everyone has lost someone." He is overwhelmed by the uselessness of war and the terrible losses. Despite the relentless sense of doom, he says he is grateful to be alive.

His days went by in similar fashion for years., working a meager living out of the land. Everyone recovering. When we went to his last day, he saw himself lying facedown on the ground dead, his heart worn out. It was a very hot day and he was overcome. We looked for someone to come greet him as his soul rose above the farm, and indeed his wife came, wearing an "old-fashioned dress." There was no particular joy in the man's greeting to her, but rather a slow relief that she was there.

What did he learn? Not to like war. "It's terrible; horrible sadness in it. Destruction; no joy. It wore me down.

What was the purpose of this life? I needed to experience the contrast of war and peace. See the other point of view (pacifist).

The next life we visited found him in a similar body, but quite confident. He was standing on a shiny floor of big black and white squares, holding a gold pocket watch. He wore a dark suit and had a gold wedding ring. This was the bank in which he worked, lending money. His job was to determine who should get loans and who should not. He liked his work. At the end of each day, he stopped at a bar/restaurant and had a steak, potatoes, and beer. The atmosphere was loud, smokey and friendly. He felt at home here, even if he usually sat alone. He went home to an empty apartment where he lived alone, and had no idea where a wife might be, as he was wearing a wedding ring. He said we are in New York City. Probably 1920's-30's.

IWe moved forward intime to an important day, where he was at the ball game! Timeframe is confirmed. He was watching Lou Gehrig. Same kind of fun time (as in the restaurant) with some colleagues. Hot dogs, beer, smoking. Good cheer. He liked baseball, but seemed strangely detached from his emotions, just as he had been in his last life, and indeed how he talked about the loved ones in this current lifetime.

The days marched on in a very similar fashion. He never married, or even had a girlfriend, but he enjoyed helping people in the bank when he could loan them money. Gradually, his health declined and he was a frail old man in a wheelchair, with a nurse next to him. He died quietly and rose up from his body VERY HAPPY and relieved.

"I'm free at last! Good riddance to that old body. It was fun while it lasted."

What did he learn? Friendship, happiness, to be helpful and compassionate.

What was the purpose? To experience joy, camaraderie, community, responsibility.

Certainly, this life was in contrast to the first one we were shown. He allowed himself to be part of a community, rather than shutting himself off from others in a lonely exile. Smoke was a big part of both lives. The second life was strangely similar to the first, but a step up in terms of being more connected. Still, both very solitary. It occurred to me that he might have been gay in the second life, but really needed to keep that hidden.

When his spirit floated up from the body, he found himself in a "surreal and beautiful landscape." He was sitting by a clear blue lake. I suggested that the lake was a healing place (of course!) and said he could drink from it or even swim...but he did not want to. He just wanted to sit. Then he could see a small, dark-haired woman coming towards him- "I think her name is Debbie and she is my guide..." She walks him to a white building- square, shiny marble with pillars. He is greeted by a man in a white robe, a healer for him. Marcus. He takes him to an open air room and he lies on a marble slab. Marcus tells him to take deep, deep breaths of the healing air to heal his lungs, especially. But the healing air will enter every cell in his body and the breath will heal him totally.

We spent a good ten minutes just breathing in this air, and the client kept saying "I can breathe!" Wonderful work there.

When we reached the part of the session where we speak with the higher self, the client was told that the reason he was such a heavy smoker in this life was because he associated it with the restaurant and a feeling of companionship. He is mostly alone in this current lifetime, and smoking makes him feel less alone. Higher self said he would not need to smoke anymore. Also said to let go of all fear (heard that before?) and to enjoy life. Relax and have fun. Client does not have his own children, but does have a niece who is an Indigo, according to his higher self. Client is to spend time with her, as they will understand each other and help each other without having to use words. Higher self told him to remember the way he was in the New York life- happy and confident. Suffering is optional and never permanent. Optional and never permanent. I love that.

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